No X-Centric on the podcast this week so instead here’s my contribution to the continuing march towards Sidekick’s world-domination.

McGarr's post of 09/10/08 really struck a chord with me. I'm very, very interested to see how his epic comes out and I'm really pleased to see him getting knee-deep in the creative process. In a comment on his post I mentioned my hope that other people would be inspired to put pen to paper.

Now I’ve never been one to shy away from an opportunity to lead by example and so I include here for your reading pleasure a screenplay-style sequence from the X-Men movie I would make if I had Jerry Bruckheimer onboard as producer and an unlimited budget. I may develop this story in lieu of appearances on the podcast, so please no "Is that it?" but more like "Ah yeah, that's it!"

To set the scene for you, we’re shooting on a Pinewood sound stage and I’m sitting in my director’s chair having just seen this morning’s rushes. Whilst I’m going through a nip/tuck of today’s shooting schedule, one of my flunkies comes over with a sandwich and a fresh mug of weak lemon drink. Life is good. I take a break from my brunch to consider some choice gags for my Oscar-acceptance speech, concentrating particularly on that one about the audition tape for... I’m snapped from my reverie by my PA:
“Sir, have you remembered that Mr Bruckheimer is visiting the set today? His helicopter is just landing now.”
“Rodney, call Derek. Tell him we’ll shoot the Danger Room sequence today. And Rodney...”
“Yes sir?”
“Tell him that we’ll shoot the version with the extra explosions.”

Follow up:

INT - CYCLOPS is in the DANGER ROOM, a large metallic, rectangular room, longer than it is tall. There are several pieces of apparatus out, e.g. a running machine, weights machines, a weights bench, etc.

Cyclops is giving himself a good workout, using the majority of the equipment available. He puts on some fighting gloves and starts beating on a heavy bag using various combat techniques. He uses a practice bag to execute some impressive looking judo-throws. Cyclops then moves onto a set of parallel bars, really pushing himself - the exertion is visible on his face as he swings his legs round and round the bars.

BEAST enters.

BEAST - That's really rather impressive, Scott. Lacking somewhat in grace, but impressive nonetheless.

Cyclops starts really going for it on the bars, but refuses to rise to Beast's baiting. Beast walks over to a control console mounted on the wall of the Danger Room.

BEAST - Ahhh Scott, I'm sorry I should have realised... (He begins tapping away on the console and a series of bars, ropes and swings slide from the walls and ceiling of the Danger Room, creating a dizzying gymnastic obstacle course several feet from the floor) With all that intense concentration... (Beast leaps up into the newly appeared apparatus and begins swinging around it at breakneck speed, continually smiling at Cyclops and making it look easy) You just haven't got the residual cerebral capacity to continue your workout whilst contemporaneously engaging me in some witty, or rather not so witty as is usual in your case, repartee...

Beast laughs and continues swinging round the equipment, never taking his eyes from Cyclops.
Cyclops dismounts the parallel bars, grabs a towel, throws it round his neck and walks over to the wall-mounted console. A hatch opens in the wall of the Danger Room and a bolt-thrower, similar in design to a mini-gun, but much larger in scale, slides out, protruding from the opening.
Beast sees the device and his eyes widen. He starts swinging round the apparatus faster and faster.
Cyclops smiles at Beast and presses the "Enter" button on the console. The bolt-thrower begins to spin and whir. Within a few seconds it is up to full speed and begins firing a storm of projectiles at Beast, who is frantically swinging through the bars and swings to avoid getting hit. The device is tracking him, but Beast manages to stay ahead of the hail of metal being hurled at him.
The door to the Danger Room slides open.

JEAN GREY enters.

She looks at Cyclops and frowns slightly at him.
Cyclops looks sheepish and turns to deactivate the projectile-firing programme he started.
Jean smiles to herself as he turns and a mischievous look flits across her face...

JEAN GREY - Don't worry about Hank, Scott - it looks like he's enjoying himself...

Cut to Beast, puffing and blowing as he's flying through round the apparatus, a frantic look plastered across his face.

JEAN GREY - And besides... Shouldn't you be concerning yourself with something else?

CYCLOPS - (Smiling and moving to walk towards Jean) Jean... I think you'd prefer it if I took a [shower first...]

Cyclops is unable to finish his sentence as a flare of energy erupts to engulf Jean Grey, who begins to use her telekinetic powers to redirect the projectiles being fired at Beast toward Cyclops. The projectiles come within inches of Beast, who continues to swing round frantically, before flying in Cyclops's direction.
Cyclops reaches for his ruby-quartz visor and starts blasting the projectiles as they stream towards him. He's hitting all the projectiles before they get to him, but with less and less time to spare. Cyclops starts backing slowly towards the corner of the Danger Room.

INT - Danger Room main control and viewing room. The room is similar in design to the Danger Room itself, although is much smaller. One wall of the room is made entirely of glass and looks out onto the X-Men training below. There are banks and banks of consoles and computer equipment along the other walls. A central control console sits in the middle of the glass wall. A bald headed man in a wheelchair, seen from behind, rolls up to the central control console.

POV of the man, watching the X-Men in the Danger Room below - Beast is still swinging, Jean Grey is still glowing, Cyclops is still blasting and backing into the corner.

We see the bald man's eyes, looking down at the combatants below. His eyes crease into a smile as he looks at each of them in turn. He begins to enter commands into the central control console.

INT - Danger Room.

Cyclops is now backed right into the corner, both hands pressed against the walls, his teeth gritted as he blasts projectiles that are getting perilously close to his face.
From behind him a holographic image grows and spreads across and down the length of the Danger Room.
We watch the change spread, the interior changing from metallic tones to a war-torn street, complete with red skies and black clouds. Rubble is strewn everywhere, and the high buildings that line the street are in a very poor state of repair. Windows are smashed and boarded-up alternately and there are large holes blown in the sides of several of the constructions.
Cyclops's training equipment transforms into various pieces of typical war-time debris and the bolt-thrower slides back into it's housing before that part of the wall changes to a burnt-out hot dog stand in the middle of the dusty street. Cyclops looks up at Beast.
Beast leaps from one bar to another, but before he can grab the next bar it has transformed into the side of a building. He clings to the side of a wall and spies a pipe running down the side of the building to the ground. He shimmies down it, landing acrobatically in a crouched position. Beast looks over to Jean Grey.
Jean Grey continues to glow and starts to float a few feet from the floor. She looks down the long street and we follow her gaze, slowly panning down and following the change from metallic hues to the ravaged city street.
As our view reaches the street's vanishing point, we see a salvo of rockets hurtling back up the street toward the three X-Men. Our view tracks them, matching their speed and still observing from Jean Grey's position.
As the salvo passes above the three X-Men it explodes in a huge cluster-effect
Cyclops leaps into the cover of the hot-dog stand which bears the brunt of the explosion. He peers out from behind the wreckage and sees Jean Grey, safely ensconced in her TK field. He looks visibly relieved. He looks towards Beast and sees him hop from a soot-blackened ground floor window of the building he landed next to, also safe.

CYCLOPS - (Leaning up against the wrecked hot-dog stand, under his breath) Welcome home, Professor.